those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
did i just pee glitter
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
