There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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