Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
