I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
