You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
