so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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