If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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