I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize