Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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