Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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