I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize