In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
