he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
