i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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