was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
