they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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