# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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