you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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