I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sober January is a disaster.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
