so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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