Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
