Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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