I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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