butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize