ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
