sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
