she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
