She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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