Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize