Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Alive.
So much puke
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
