just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
