Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
