After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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