Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
As shirtless as possible
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
