If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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