haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
