There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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