I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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