I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
