He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
