But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also, beer. Big fan.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
