you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you will always have a special place in my vag
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize