At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
