Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
love makes seman taste better
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
