I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
