my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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