The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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