Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
