oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
