I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
