Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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