Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
