As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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