If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize