Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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