My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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