I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize