The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
