I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
