It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
