Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
