Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
