shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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