So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize