She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
