i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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