508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
