I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
