Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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