No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize