just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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