i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
