so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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