i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
