i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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