I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize